We
all know how it feels to be stuck in a bad mood. Sometimes there is a biological
component to our bad mood, hormonally driven, lack of sleep, poor eating habits
or too many stimulants. Some moods emanate from home, an angry argument. And others
seem to have no specific trigger, out of nowhere a darker veil descends. Research
from the University of Pennsylvania by Professor Sigal Barsade may explain: Bad
moods are contagious.
Barsade
clarifies that you unconsciously mimic the people around you. If someone in your
midst is negative, speaks loudly with an edge, or is tapping his foot impatiently,
you will absorb that mood. As a result you will feel more irritable, less compromising
and more likely to yell at someone or send that hostile email you wished you had
never sent.
However,
if you are infected by someone elses bad mood and dont even know it,
what can you do to get over it?
Start cultivating an awareness of other peoples body language, tone of voice
and word choice. When you are near someone who is frowning, how do you feel? Practice
developing a radar for peoples energy. Self-awareness will break it.
Dont
be afraid to shed other peoples toxicity by distancing yourself, especially
if you are in eye contact which can become hypnotic. After all, you are careful
about eating foods with pesticides and artificial ingredients, why should toxic
people be different?
Exercise
it away! While you move away from negativity, keep on walking to get rid of the
anxiety and uneasiness. Exercise will rebalance your neural circuitry and change
your mood. Meditation, watching a comedy or calling up a positive friend will
also positively change brain activity.
All
bad moods are not created equal. If your bad mood is in response to someone
elses, thats easier to shake off. However, if you are in a negative
loop and cant stop worrying and focus on what you have to do, then you have
to seriously de-activate the bad thought by logically exposing the distortion.
For
example, you are furious that your husband Jack is very late and has kept you
waiting at the restaurant. You are caught up in the loop that he is inconsiderate
and selfish. You cant believe that you could have married such a man. In
the past when Jack finally arrived, you would have eaten your dinner together
silently and angrily. You would have glared at Jack all the way home in the car
and gone to bed facing the wall.
However,
if you deactivate this thought with: I prefer that Jack isnt late.
But thats not how Jack behaves. Who ever said that Jack has to live according
to the rules of my universe? Im sure there are some qualities I have that
irk him too. We are not clones. Besides he isnt just late for me, hes
always late. Thats just the way he gets caught up in what he is doing and
loses track of time. I used to find that adorable. Soon Jack arrives apologizing
profusely, yet you smile lovingly. Boy, is he ever surprised!
The
next time you are in a bad mood, ask yourself: is it you or them?
About
the Author Debbie
Mandel, MA is the author of Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind
and Soul, a stress-reduction specialist, motivational speaker, a personal
trainer and mind/body lecturer at Southampton College. She is the host of the
weekly Turn On Your Inner Light Show on WHLI 1100AM in New York City ,
produces a weekly wellness newsletter, and has been featured on radio/ TV and
print media. To learn more visit
her site.
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Throughout this website, statements are made pertaining to the properties and/or
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