Your Fear and Let It Go
I started using various forms of meditation CDs enhanced with advanced
audio technology like binaural beats, I estimate I hadn't recalled
much more than tiny snippets of a rare dream in, gosh, at least ten
years and probably many more than that.
of the things I liked after listening to my first audio-enhanced CD
in late 2001 was the fact that I started sleeping as soundly as a
puddle of snoozing cat and dreaming vividly and often. For the first
time in far too long I could clearly recall in the mornings my imaginings
of the nights before.
in February of 2002 after I first started listening to these powerful
CDs, I dreamed that I was in the atrium of a large bank-like building,
the front of which had huge plate glass windows. Granite columns rose
from the polished floor to the top of the atrium, some four stories
above my head.
walking through this atrium, minding my own business, when a man suddenly
ran past, shouting, "The storm's coming, the storm's coming.
It's headed right for us!"
from my sight as only dream people can do.
toward the plate glass windows, looked outside, and, sure enough,
a terrible storm was headed right for the building, a perfect storm
with tornadoes, hurricane force winds, lightning, and driving rain.
to run as fast as I could toward the interior of the building, but
then a voice screamed, "We're all going to die!"
back and, yes, the tornado's winds were driving uprooted trees and
debris straight toward the plate glass windows.
feel myself panicking, sweating, shaking with fear, going zero at
to the smooth, polished floor, worrying furiously about what I could
do to protect myself. For lack of anything better, I crawled to one
of the granite columns and then wrapped my arms around it even though
I knew the force of the terrible winds would laugh at my feeble hold
on safety and easily toss me about like an egg shell.
squeezed shut to avoid the glass fragments and flesh-piercing slivers
that would be headed my way any second now.
fear flooding through my veins.
pounded as I clutched onto that column for dear life.
for no conscious reason in that dream, I calmly took a deep breath,
opened my eyes, totally accepted the storm, and then watched in calm
fascination as glass and trees and street signs and
driving rain and other storm stuff flew past me, leaving me untouched,
calm, relaxed, and utterly at peace.
later, I woke up, happy, smiling, almost in tears because of the
wonderful experience of completely letting go.
first time since 1980, when something similar happened to me, I felt
completely at one with everything in the world -- the good and the
bad, the beautiful and the ugly, the violent and the peaceful.
been a week since that dream, but I still reflect on it several times
a day to remind myself of the way I'm prone to attach to things I
really don't have to attach to and fear things I really don't have
a result of what I experienced while clutching the granite column
in my dream, I've lately been a better witness of what I say and do
- an observer who can now better embrace the still calm around which
the storms of life swirl, bluster, and blow.
I attribute most of the growth and insight discussed above to daily
listening to my meditation-specific
CDs in my CD store for stress relief, relaxation, sleep promotion,
alertness, and deep meditation.
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