The Five-Day Relationship Fast

by Michael Bobier

Most people when hearing the word fast in a context not of a horse race or a race car will think of not eating food. However, in this essay, I use the word fast as synonymous with abstinence.

I am a retired Hygiene fasting practitioner and nutritional life consultant and coach.

One too many people years ago blamed me and the fast for their problems, cleansings, skin eruptions, and other physical symptoms, and I slowly had to retire.

Now as a private relationship counselor I advise people to occasionally fast (abstain) from their partner. And if things are at an IMPASSE, chronically negative - again fast from your partner.

Fasting from food and stimulants, condiments especially, is also a good idea.

However, I have found that regular people, your couples, singles, victims, daters, marrieds, etc., often do well to fast from one another and/or from one's people habits and people addictions.

When fasting from another person, don't call, don't e-mail, and don't visit.

Recently a friend came to me in great pain. He had walked into his girlfriend's office to find her putting on a show and tell for a younger, buffed out male. My friend was livid and upset beyond words.

I didn't know what to do. So I took a chance, or what I call a Gestalt risk, and I said, "Fast from her for five days, and I guarantee results."

I didn't know for sure if five days would be enough.

Usually, most people who are suffering undue stress and pain from relationship problems will reach out for an illusionary toxic friend. A cigarette, a double shot of booze, a hard drug, a recreational drug, a tranquilizer, a pain killer, or a sleeping pill.

Unfortunately, there are no drop-in fasting retreats for people who suddenly break up.

Also, sudden break ups are shocking, and in many cases, too many, there is violence.

Violence to me is totally opposite to a fasting retreat's vibe.

Well, my friend began his fast by walking around six blocks ten times a day and drinking lots of carrot juice and a super green drink, along with a moderate diet of raw, vegan foods.

He spent 48 hours fighting off the temptation to call or hit the reply button from rereading past love letters saved.

This was crucial to get past the first two days of missing her and hungering for her. On the third day he let go of fantasies and stimulating imagination and or sexual thoughts. (Or he tried too).

On the fourth day he took periodic saunas and drank lots of distilled water and carrot juice and ate but little. He didn't fast from food altogether.

He did laps at the local YMCA and walked, doing power walking and deep breathing.

On the fifth day he awoke and saw her face as a simple ordinary woman with problems. He was becoming more objective and no longer seeing the sexy, tease adolescent part of a 52-year old woman in her as appealing or someone to be jealous over. He was no longer feeling like the green-eyed, jealous monster that Virginia Vetrano and Dr. Shelton wrote about in past hygienic reviews.

My friend's adolescent reactions were subsiding. He spent the day feeling liberated and freer. He wasn't easily aroused, and he credited partial fasting and raw foods and carrot juice.

He said that like false hunger, stomach stimulation, there are false sexual feelings. He accredited these feelings to irritation of the lymph. He also said he thought spicy condiments and high acid foods acted like aphrodisiacs on his body.

Then there are true sexual feelings, which are not born of irritants.

And so the fifth day is almost over, and my friend and client is doing well and on the right track. From partial fasting, paranoia is leaving him too.

He realizes that out of sight and out of mind works.

Guess what?

She called him and wanted to talk at noon on the fifth day.

He said, "No way. I'm liking my fast."

He could have said, "Frankly, Scarlet, I don't give a damn."