The
resolutions are as grand as our imagination with a drink in hand: Lose an exorbitant
amount of weight, exercise daily like professional athletes, climb the highest
rung on the ladder at work, do volunteer work and community service, get more
involved in our childrens schools, recreate the greatest love story ever
told and act more considerately to the in-laws.
Yeah
right!
There
is a huge interim from January to January. At the first sign of stress, we relapse
into our old habits. But why cant we implement beyond the first couple of
weeks at best? Is it because at the root of our resolution lies the need to impress
others?
This
year instead of raising your glass high, raise your personal status immediately.
Most people need accountability and cheer leaders for a change to take hold. This
year, how about becoming accountable to yourself?
Instead
of making resolutions on the spur of the moment, make a commitment to just one
goal of self-improvement, for you and no one else. This means you are not losing
weight because the media makes you feel fat or doing volunteer work to impress
others with your kindness.
This
years special goal(s) needs to emanate from your heart. For example, do
you need to see a life coach, break down your goal into its smallest parts, see
a nutritionist and attend a support group when you want to vacation in Tuscany?
Why should your other sincere goals be different?
Interesting,
when your goal is internally driven, the accompanying perk is better health.
For
example, many women are self-silencers. They do not speak up during a marital
spat or ask the boss for a raise. Instead, at the first sign of conflict they
tiptoe around the house or the office trying to keep the peace, suppressing their
feelings and thoughts.
Now
if a self-silencer commits to expressing her true feelings, she will improve her
health at the same time. The famous ten-year Framingham research study on cardiovascular
health discovered this striking fact: Women who kept their feelings to themselves
during conflicts had a four times greater risk of dying.
At
the very least they were more likely to suffer from depression and irritable bowel
syndrome as summarized in the Harvard Womens Health Watch (Jan., 2008).
So, if you are a self-silencer, by making a commitment to expressing your truth
in the coming year, you will create better health for both your mind and body
as a bonus benefit.
To
ensure that you keep on track manage your stress, especially the little stressors
which accumulate daily to sap your vitality and cause you to engage in self-sabotage.
Stress will always land on your doorstep, but you dont have to constantly
open the door!
If
the new you regresses to old knee-jerk stressors, consider the usual triggers
and let it go:
I am tired
I
misunderstood
I
am being a worrier
I
think other people are my clones
I
set too-high expectations which others cant meet
To
make sure that you stay committed to your new goal to release the true you take
a weekly inventory to evaluate what is working for you and what isnt.
This
way you are avoiding the huge gap of January to January. Sunday night is a great
time for evaluation and tweaking as you are planning out your week which gives
you a weekly opportunity for a fresh start: Happy New Week!
About
the Author Debbie
Mandel, MA is the author of Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind
and Soul, a stress-reduction specialist, motivational speaker, a personal
trainer and mind/body lecturer at Southampton College. She is the host of the
weekly Turn On Your Inner Light Show on WHLI 1100AM in New York City ,
produces a weekly wellness newsletter, and has been featured on radio/ TV and
print media. To learn more visit
her site.
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