Do
you live with a chronic case of self-doubt? Do you feel like you
dont deserve your success? You might have the impostor syndrome
which is a real, psychological disorder. While men can have this
syndrome, it affects mostly women. The impostor syndrome involves
feeling unworthy, like a fake; ironically it is experienced by highly
successful people. As a result no matter what you accomplish, like
earning a PhD or running a business, you feel like you dont
know enough and that you have fooled others into believing that
you are competent. In other words, because you are fraud, you feel
that you do not deserve your success. And it isnt a case of
all or nothing like you either have the psychological disorder or
you dont because there is a continuum to the symptoms.
Whats
Success Got To Do With It?
When you do succeed, you discount it. Here is what someone with
the impostor syndrome would say: I got lucky. It was no big
deal. Or It was easy; most people could have done it.
The
impostor syndrome makes it difficult to appreciate past and present
success. You never feel like you measure up. There is an internal
pressure which makes you fear failure or making a mistake. Sometimes
you could sabotage your success to fulfill your own negative prophecy.
What
are the signs?
* You are a workaholic at work or at school.
* You use your charm around higher ups or people whose opinion
you value to feel praised and validated, so that you can continue
to produce. However, ultimately you attribute success to your
charm and not because you are good at what you do.
* You often tell people what they like to hear. For example, you
will tell your boss what she wants to hear. This in fact, makes
you feel more of a fake and confirms your opinion about your inadequacy.
* You dont show off or own what you do after all,
you are an impostor and do not want to increase your visibility.
Awareness
can help you identify if you are an impostor enabling
you to have a rational discourse with yourself to let it go. Perhaps,
there is some old baggage from childhood like a highly critical
demanding parent who pushed you to achieve, academically or athletically.
However, you are an adult now and in simple terms, Get over
it! Revel in your accomplishments. Its time to move
forward from the past lane.
About
the Author
Debbie
Mandel, MA is the author of Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness
for Body, Mind and Soul, a stress-reduction specialist, motivational
speaker, a personal trainer and mind/body lecturer at Southampton
College. She is the host of the weekly Turn On Your Inner Light
Show on WHLI 1100AM in New York City , produces a weekly wellness
newsletter, and has been featured on radio/ TV and print media.
To learn more visit
her site.
Click
Here to
share this page with your friends, website visitors, ezine readers, social followers
and other online contacts.
Disclaimer:
Throughout this website, statements are made pertaining to the properties and/or
functions of food and/or nutritional products. These statements have not been
evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and these materials and products
are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.