Signs Your Relationship Is in Trouble
yourself escaping into fantasy these days as you scan your image in
the mirror holding in your abdominals, wondering if you are still
attractive. When you sit across from your spouse at the kitchen table,
you observe that he is a bit disheveled and his face is hidden by
a magazine. Sipping your coffee, you feel a vague sense of unhappiness.
There are no romantic gestures, silly laughter or dialogues about
movies, books, friends or politics. Everything has become ordinary
and unacceptably mediocre. You miss the excitement of love and all
the fun. Chances are that your relationship is already on a downward
signs of talking to each other less, feeling irritable and unhappy
are not reliable diagnostics that your relationship is in trouble.
Because if you are truly honest with yourself, your irritability and
negativity might be caused by your own personal stress and lack of
self-esteem. It might have nothing to do with him; rather it is your
relationship with yourself that is in trouble!
there are concrete signs of potential breakups; some of which come
from feng shui, that cannot be rationalized away. Often words obscure
issues, but the tangible facts dont lie.
Around the house, you display no knickknacks that come in pairs
like, two candles, two figurines, two paintings, or bookends.
2. In the area of your home where you display framed photos, there
are no photos alone of the two of you as a couple only group
photos with friends or family members.
3. Your bedding is worn-out and dull. There is only obligatory romance.
Pink sheets are believed to give off the most romantic energy.
4. The lock on your bedroom doesnt work. There is no sense
of privacy in the bedroom. It seems like children barging into your
bedroom is a good excuse for avoiding intimacy.
5. There is harsh lighting in the bedroom instead of a soothing,
warm glow. All you have to do is change a light bulb or a lamp shade.
6. You never eat a meal anymore by candle light, preferably a pair
of candles on the table, to put back the fire in your relationship
and restore the warmth.
7. Your part of the closet is overflowing into his space and his
things are cramped and limited.
willing to bet that along with these physical signs, there have been
frequent bouts of repetitive purposeless fighting without any chance
of a compromise.
your partner has been attributing negative motives or emotions to
you and therefore has been invalidating your feelings. Most likely,
you treat your spouse that way too.
recognizing there is a problem leads to effective treatment. First,
change the physical environment, the relationship symbols. Its
easy to change the sheets, find a photo of the two of you, display
a knick-knack pair, have dinner by candle light and give your spouse
a little more space in the closet. Transform your relationship first
physically and then spiritually.
deal of repetitive, purposeless fighting or attributing negative motives
to your spouse is due to anger aimed inward. Your spouse is your mirror.
If your buttons are being pushed, turn it around. What does your spouse
reflect that you dont like about yourself? The next time you
scan yourself in the mirror to see how you physically measure up,
think about the energy you are projecting. Do you have laugh lines
or frown lines? The next time a problem arises, dont fight with
him or try to deny there is a problem. Accept it and acknowledge it.
Patiently, seek a solution. Then fully commit to the resolution of
the problem and see it through. When you are out of control, you are
unable to concentrate and achieve a peaceful solution. How can you
form of enlightenment is to know yourself. Concentrate on restoring
happiness to your relationship by paying close attention to the details.
Mandel, MA is the author of Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for
Body, Mind and Soul, a stress-reduction specialist, motivational
speaker, a personal trainer and mind/body lecturer at Southampton
College. She is the host of the weekly Turn On Your Inner Light
Show on WHLI 1100AM in New York City , produces a weekly wellness
newsletter, and has been featured on radio/ TV and print media. To
learn more visit
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