Everyday
I receive at least five artistically photographed catalogues urging me to buy
jewelry, evening wear, winter apparel, gadgets, cookware and foods. I get advanced
sale coupons from department stores flattering me as a preferred customer.
Commercials on TV and radio have ramped up the must-have-it consumerism. This
is the time of year that I worry about my clients who are closet shopaholics
pun intended.
How
can you tell if you are a shopaholic? Im not going to give you one of those
typical quizzes where if you check off even one category, you are diagnosed with
a problem. And the way the questions are worded, you will surely have experienced
at least one of the categories. You and I are both tempted and we succumb occasionally.
However, excess shopping might be associated with:
Emptiness where shopping fills the void
Disappointment
becomes a trigger
Debt
or at least a financial drain
Impulse
purchases
Weight
control. If you werent shopping, you would be eating to fill up
Competition
as you need to possess what others have
Quantity
as you buy the same shirt in five different colors
Shopaholism
is an addiction which like all addictions gives you a temporary high until the
next fix which eventually has to be bigger. And like other addictions it stems
from a lack of self-esteem, loneliness, emptiness and a generalized feeling that
you have lost control of your life. Worthy to note that most shopaholics are women!
Every time you surrender to the impulse, it is like taking a step backward in
your life. For example, when the credit card bills come in, your spouse asks you
to account for your expenditures. He chides you like a silly school girl for spending
too much on clothes and accessories, threatening to cancel your credit cards.
Is this a relationship based on equality and mutual respect? What has happened
is that the man in your life has assumed control and become your father figure.
And on the other hand, ask yourself this question: Do you respect what you are
trying to achieve together as a team by spending money that puts the two of you
into debt or jeopardizes your future by not saving? Shopaholism can seriously
undermine your relationship and your identity.
To
help control the urge:
Figure out the root cause. What triggers you to go shopping? Keep a log. Distract
yourself by calling up friends and maybe going out with them, except dont
go shopping! Dont even have lunch in the mall. Try exercising because it
is a great distraction and will sweat out the desire to shop.
Write
a list of what you need and what you want. Know the difference! Read your list
before you make any purchases. Keep checking your list while you shop.
Stay
away from the stores during holiday season. Throw the catalogues in the garbage;
dont open them. Dont watch shopping channels or go online to shop.
Shop
with cash no credit cards!
Gift
giving? Dont use gifts as an excuse to shop. This year become more spiritual
and give a part of yourself or donate to charities in your friends names.
You can create gifts from your spirit self: Bake, garden, knit, paint, write and
sing.
About
the Author Debbie
Mandel, MA is the author of Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind
and Soul, a stress-reduction specialist, motivational speaker, a personal
trainer and mind/body lecturer at Southampton College. She is the host of the
weekly Turn On Your Inner Light Show on WHLI 1100AM in New York City ,
produces a weekly wellness newsletter, and has been featured on radio/ TV and
print media. To learn more visit
her site.
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