People
who are already battling the bulge seem to really pack on the pounds
when they experience stress. Jason Block, MD, whose Harvard research
was published n The American Journal of Epidemiology, implicates
stress as a trigger for weight gain. Apparently the stress response
is gender specific. Men get stressed over workplace hierarchy, difficulty
paying the bills, the inability to learn new skills along with workplace
demands. However, women have broader categories when they experience
stress; they are hit hard by strained relationships and feeling
limited by lifes circumstances according to Dr. Block. In
fact, I have observed in my own work with stress management clients
that most women feel stress more intensely than men and seem to
get trapped in a negative worry loop, unable to let go.
For
years the research has been out there in disparate studies which
lacked the cohesiveness of a big picture: stress creates an inflammatory
response for both mind and body. This means you are out of balance
not sleeping or exercising enough and eating mindlessly to self-soothe
particularly junk food. In fact, cortisol, one of the stress
hormones, is claimed to build fat around the abdomen making you
more prone to metabolic syndrome which can lead to heart disease,
type 2 diabetes and other ailments. Even worse, stress is contagious.
What does this mean for your marriage?
However,
dont get stressed by these findings. Awareness can help you
identify the pattern to minimize your stress and maximize your health,
happiness and relationship. Stress is a cumulative process. While
you might not be able to deal with the big stressors in your life
just yet, you can certainly cope with the small stressors. Each
stressor that you deal with it raises your stress threshold for
the next and signals personal empowerment. You need to have empowerment
to lose weight to know that you can do it with balanced eating
and exercise. This mindset helps you go the distance.
I always
say, Metabolize your past by letting it go and you will lose
weight. Anger blows things up out of proportion and you want
to avoid anger in all cases, so your waistline doesnt blow
up. This is why forgiveness becomes a necessary ingredient in feeling
and looking lighter. By compassionately reinterpreting the resentment
you can move past it - instead of fueling it which revs up your
stress hormones.
To
experience serenity you do not need to live by the sea or in a country
cottage, far away from stores, technology and your ambitions. On
the contrary when you are serene, you are more productive, creative
and flexible. You achieve because you know how to return to your
internal reference point. Like ocean waves, you venture out into
the world with all its unpredictable, ambiguous and destabilizing
situations and then return to your internal, peaceful shore.
The
great news is that you can alter your serenity set point. Heres
how to shed stress and the excess weight.
Exercise is the most efficient and effective way to get rid of
stress. Try a walking meditation. When you are upset or sad, take
a walk. Think about your legs taking you to your next happiness.
Dont
suppress and silence your worries. Allocate daily worry time to
face what is bothering you. Write down your worries in the form
of a list. Objectify them. Think of how you can deal with each
one to make peace with yourself.
Try
to write simple sentences in third person about the obstacle or
conflict. No adjectives or adverbs allowed! This means expressing
the clinical facts not the stories you build around them.
Read your sentences out loud and try to see them from a more neutral
perspective. It would be nice if everyone you know acted according
to your rules and beliefs, but they dont. Aim for compromise
instead of winning.
Make
sure that you meet your daily requirements for personal time and
nurturing. Otherwise you will slow down your emotional metabolism
and become irritable.
Every
Sunday night take an inventory of the past week: What worked for
you and what didnt. Then plan out two types of menus for
the coming week: the meals you will eat as well as food for thought
to give you more contentment.
Now
that you know the specific stressors of Venus and Mars, it will
be easier to create a safe haven in your home. You will be able
to choose the right words by giving some thought to how they will
be received.
About
the Author
Debbie
Mandel, MA is the author of Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness
for Body, Mind and Soul, a stress-reduction specialist, motivational
speaker, a personal trainer and mind/body lecturer at Southampton
College. She is the host of the weekly Turn On Your Inner Light
Show on WHLI 1100AM in New York City , produces a weekly wellness
newsletter, and has been featured on radio/ TV and print media.
To learn more visit
her site.
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