Toddler Starting Preschool:

How to Help Your Toddler Start Preschool

by Josh Day

9-25-08

Your toddler's first day at daycare or preschool can be an emotionally taxing experience for both parents and the child.

This is especially true in a case like ours, where both my wife and I work at home and our 18-month old is an only child.

We wanted to put him in preschool early so he could interact with children his age.

We wanted him comfortable in a social environment among his peers; our belief was that the ice-water "shock" of being left without his parents among strange adults and even stranger children would be a lot less hard on him if we eased him into at a younger age.

Two other big factors in our decision were:

• Studies have shown childhood development is significantly helped along by the presence of other children of the same age. All children develop at different rates, some slower than others, but many benefit by interacting and observing their peers.
  
  
• It's nice to have a couple days out of the week where my wife and I can work uninterrupted.

We chose to send James only two days a week, Monday and Wednesday.

He joined the youngest class of his preschool, the 1.5 year-olds.

The first time you drop off your toddler or older child is going to be the hardest.

If an open house is offered, be sure to go. This is a time where the parents and children mingle in the classroom and get to know the teachers, new environment, and new toys.

When we arrived for the open house, a number of kids were already there, exploring the room and playing with all the new toys.

James was overwhelmed by so many people and children his own size that he broke down at first, but the crying stopped after a minute.

We let him down and he stood by us for a while, taking it all in.

Then we casually left him in the middle of the room, near playgym with a slide. Lo and behold, there were no sobs or a frantic search for his mom and dad.

He continued to stand there, looking at everyone and everything.

Here are some tips on how we made the process easier on ourselves and James:

• Talk to friends or neighbors about various preschools and daycare. Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT get caught up on the expensive schools that boast of being the first step to getting your kid into an Ivy-League college. Often there are many preschools out there that are on the same level with caring and intelligent teachers and upscale facilities. If you get the feeling that a major chunk of the school's revenue goes to marketing, that's something that tells you a lot about the school's priorities.
  
  
• Tour the school's facilities before you sign anything. If you're not comfortable with something, keep looking.
  
  
• Attend the open house session to make acclimation easier on your child.
  
  
• Accept the fact the first day is going to be hard. Trust the teachers and drop your child off and then leave. I dropped James off and then waited out of view; he stopped crying in less than two minutes.
  
  
• Finally, to emphasize the above point: sticking around with your child during drop-off only makes it harder for him, as well as the other children. In the first days of school, you'll often see a domino effect of one child crying and the rest following suit.

If you found this article helpful, you'll want to check out the book my wife wrote about parenting James during the first six months of his life.