Your Negative Inner Voice
by Leah Day
no better way of knowing how you feel about yourself than listening
to your inner voice. What is the inner voice? Quite simply it is the
voice with whom you talk to yourself. The words that seem to come
from nowhere but can affect your actions, mood, decisions, and feelings.
of my life I struggled with a very negative inner voice. It told me
I was stupid, worthless, and ugly. When something bad would happen
to me, my inner voice would tell me I deserved it, that I should expect
such treatment because I was so stupid. This negative voice was entirely
my invention. It was my mind saying these horrible things. Why would
I think so badly of myself? Did I, in fact, believe that I was stupid,
worthless, or ugly. Yes, I did.
inner voice was actually a vocalization of my low self-esteem. I believed
those things about myself and reinforced those beliefs by internalizing
them and turning them into an actual negative entity within my brain.
It might not seem like it, but I was in control the whole time. I
chose to start berrating myself. I chose to cut myself down when I
was feeling low. I was my own worst enemy. No one could cut me down
more effectively than my own mind could.
very sad to think about. Even now, years later, I wonder how I could
have hated myself so much. That is truly what low self-esteem stems
from -- self-hate. When we live wishing we were more like someone
else, despising the characteristics that make us special, we are living
in self-hate. Psychologists like to put fancy words on it like low
self-esteem, but this doesnt really impart true understanding
of the condition. We all understand hate, though. Happy, sad, afraid,
hate, love -- they are the words we can truly comprehend and apply
to ourselves and our mental state.
do we combat this negative inner voice? How do we reverse the effects
of self hate? Well, loving ourselves is a good first step. Once I
realized just how much I hated myself, I was honestly repelled. How
can you function hating the body you live in, the mind you think with,
the hands you create with? You cant. You cannot function to
your ultimate potential if you are constantly criticising and hating
yourself. So we must learn to love ourselves. This shouldnt
be too difficult. We were born loving ourselves but somewhere along
the line, for whatever reason, we stopped.
yourself again you must accept yourself. You must embrace all the
shortcomings, failures, and mistakes you have made. You need to turn
inward now and find those things about yourself that make you special,
different, and worthwhile. When your negative voice rears up, name
it, put it in its place, and start to battle its control of your mind.
You are in control now, it's scary, but you are the boss and you call
is a complex and powerful thing. It has more control over our lives
than we ever give it credit for. We can eliminate our negative inner
voices. We can learn to love ourselves. Once we are willing to let
go of the hate, let go of our fear, anger, and resentment, we can
then begin to heal and love again. It saddens me to remember how much
I hated myself, but I did and I hurt myself everyday because of it.
Live to love yourself and your life will love you back.
Note: Leah is my daughter-in-law and an award-winning quilter.
She shares insights almost daily about quilting and art and life on
her very popular blog, The
Free Motion Quilting Project. To see Leah's gallery of beautiful
quilts that she's created, click
here. If you're a quilter, both of these sites require a visit
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