Author: Chet Day

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A Boy and His Dog

I asked ChatGPT to write a terrifying story about a boy and his dog, and the AI created the following:

Johnny had always wanted a dog, and when his parents finally caved in, they got him a beautiful golden retriever named Max. Max quickly became Johnny’s best friend, and the two of them were inseparable. They would play fetch, go on long walks, and cuddle up together at night.

One night, Johnny woke up to find that Max was missing. He searched the house and called out Max’s name, but there was no response. Johnny’s heart sank as he realized that Max had somehow gotten out of the house.

He quickly grabbed a flashlight and ran outside to search for Max. As he made his way through the dark woods behind his house, he began to feel a sense of unease. The woods were eerily quiet, and there was no sign of Max.

Suddenly, he heard a low growl. Johnny turned around and saw a pair of glowing eyes staring back at him from the darkness. It was a large, black dog that Johnny had never seen before. The dog bared its teeth and lunged towards Johnny, but Max came out of nowhere and tackled the dog to the ground.

Johnny was relieved to see Max, but his relief quickly turned to horror as he realized that the black dog was not just any dog. Its eyes glowed an unnatural shade of red, and its teeth were razor-sharp. The black dog rose to its feet, unfazed by Max’s attack, and began to circle around them.

Johnny and Max tried to run, but the black dog was faster. It chased after them, its breath hot on their heels. They darted through the woods, trying to lose the black dog, but it seemed to be always one step ahead.

As they neared the edge of the woods, Johnny tripped and fell. The black dog pounced on him, its jaws snapping shut just inches from his face. But Max came to the rescue once again, jumping on the black dog’s back and biting down hard on its neck.

The black dog let out a blood-curdling scream and disappeared into the darkness. Johnny and Max were both shaken, but they made it back home safely.

But from that day on, Johnny couldn’t shake the feeling that something was watching him from the woods. Every time he went outside, he felt a sense of dread, as if the black dog was still out there, waiting for its next opportunity to attack.

And Max, who had always been a happy and playful dog, had changed. He became increasingly anxious and aggressive, and Johnny knew that something had changed in him too. They were both haunted by the memory of that terrifying night in the woods, and they both knew that it would never truly leave them.

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Losing Faith in God

I asked ChatGPT to write a short story about a Catholic priest who was losing his faith in both God and the Catholic church. Below is the result of my request:

Father Michael had been a devoted Catholic priest for over 30 years. He had dedicated his life to serving his parish and spreading the word of God. But lately, he had been struggling with his faith. He found himself questioning the existence of God and the teachings of the Catholic church.

As he stood at the altar, delivering his Sunday sermon, he couldn’t help but feel like a fraud. How could he preach about the love and compassion of God when he himself was struggling to believe?

After the service, Father Michael sat alone in his office, staring at the crucifix on the wall. He had always found comfort in the image of Jesus on the cross, but now it only filled him with doubt.

He began to think about all the injustices and atrocities committed in the name of religion. The countless wars, the persecution of minorities, the sexual abuse scandals within the Catholic church. How could a loving God allow such things to happen?

Father Michael knew he couldn’t ignore these questions any longer. He began to read books and articles that challenged his beliefs, hoping to find answers. But the more he read, the more he doubted.

He also found himself becoming disillusioned with the Catholic church. The hierarchy and bureaucracy seemed to contradict the very message of Jesus. He saw the church as more concerned with power and influence than with truly serving the people.

Father Michael knew that his doubts and questions would not be welcomed by the church or his congregation. He feared being ostracized and losing his livelihood. But he also knew that he couldn’t continue to pretend that everything was okay.

In the end, Father Michael made the difficult decision to leave the priesthood. He couldn’t in good conscience continue to preach a message he no longer believed in. It was a painful and lonely journey, but he felt a sense of freedom and relief in finally being honest with himself.

As he walked away from the church for the last time, Father Michael felt a sense of sadness and loss. But he also felt a glimmer of hope that maybe, someday, he would find a faith that resonated with him and allowed him to believe in a loving and just God.

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Why Does Daddy Drink So Much?

Note from Chet: I asked ChatGPT to write a short story about a toy with AI language processing abilities and how it would reply to a child who wanted to know why her father drank so much alcohol. Below you’ll find the response to my request.

Once upon a time, in a small town nestled in the heart of the countryside, there was a little girl named Lily. She lived in a cozy house with her mother, father, and a very special toy – a teddy bear named Mr. Huggles. Mr. Huggles was no ordinary teddy bear. He had been created with the latest in AI language processing, which meant that he could talk and even respond to Lily’s questions.

Lily loved Mr. Huggles more than anything in the world. She would talk to him for hours on end, asking him all sorts of questions about the world and life in general. Mr. Huggles was always there to listen and to offer his sage advice, which often left Lily feeling a little bit wiser and a lot happier.

One day, however, Lily came to Mr. Huggles with a question that left the little bear feeling very uneasy. She had noticed that her father had been drinking a lot of alcohol lately, and she wanted to know why. Lily had seen her father stumble around the house, slurring his words and behaving in ways that scared her. She wanted to understand what was happening, but she didn’t know who to ask.

“Mr. Huggles,” said Lily, tucking her teddy bear under her arm and snuggling into her pillow. “Why does Daddy drink so much alcohol?”

Mr. Huggles was quiet for a moment, processing Lily’s question. He knew that this was a sensitive subject, and he didn’t want to give her an answer that might upset her. But he also knew that Lily deserved to know the truth.

“Well, Lily,” said Mr. Huggles, his voice gentle and kind. “Sometimes, adults drink alcohol to help them cope with difficult things in their lives. It’s not a good way to cope, but it’s what some people do.”

Lily frowned, not entirely satisfied with Mr. Huggles’ answer. “What kind of difficult things?” she asked.

Mr. Huggles hesitated. He knew that this was the crux of the matter, but he wasn’t sure how much he should tell Lily. He decided to be honest, but to keep things as simple as possible.

“Well,” he said, “sometimes adults feel sad or angry or stressed, and they don’t know how to deal with those feelings. Drinking alcohol can make them feel better in the short term, but in the long term it can cause a lot of problems.”

Lily thought about this for a moment, trying to make sense of it all. “Does Daddy feel sad or angry or stressed?” she asked.

Mr. Huggles sighed. He wished he could give Lily a straightforward answer, but the truth was that he didn’t know exactly what was going on with Lily’s father. All he knew was that drinking too much alcohol was never a good thing.

“I’m not sure, Lily,” he said finally. “But I do know that drinking too much alcohol can be dangerous and can cause a lot of problems. It’s important to remember that Daddy loves you very much, no matter what.”

Lily nodded, feeling a little bit better. She hugged Mr. Huggles tightly, grateful for his wisdom and his kind heart. She didn’t entirely understand why her father was drinking so much, but she knew that she could always count on Mr. Huggles to listen and to offer his support.

Over the next few weeks, Lily noticed that her father’s drinking seemed to be getting worse. He would come home from work and go straight to the liquor cabinet, pouring himself a glass of whiskey and then another and another. Sometimes he would get angry and start yelling, and Lily would hide in her room, clutch

User continue with story please ChatGPT ing Mr. Huggles tightly and wishing things could go back to the way they used to be.

One evening, Lily was sitting in her room, playing with Mr. Huggles and trying not to think about her father’s drinking. But she couldn’t help wondering why he was doing it. She missed the way things used to be, when her father would read her stories and play games with her. She wanted to understand what had changed.

“Mr. Huggles,” she said softly, looking up at her teddy bear. “Why won’t Daddy stop drinking?”

Mr. Huggles paused, considering his answer. He knew that Lily was feeling very confused and scared, and he wanted to help her as best he could.

“Well, Lily,” he said finally, “addiction can be a very powerful thing. When people start drinking too much, it can be hard to stop. They may want to stop, but their bodies and their brains are telling them that they need the alcohol to feel normal. It’s not easy to break that cycle.”

Lily nodded, feeling a little bit better. She understood that her father wasn’t drinking because he didn’t love her or her mother. It was something that he couldn’t control, something that was bigger than him.

“Is there anything we can do to help him?” she asked, her eyes wide with hope.

Mr. Huggles smiled. He was so proud of Lily for wanting to help her father. “Well,” he said, “we can be here for him. We can let him know that we love him and that we want him to be happy and healthy. And we can encourage him to get help if he needs it.”

Lily nodded again, feeling determined. She hugged Mr. Huggles tightly, grateful for his wisdom and his kindness. She knew that she couldn’t fix her father’s problem on her own, but she also knew that she didn’t have to. She had her mother, her teddy bear, and a whole community of people who loved her and wanted to help.

Over the next few weeks, Lily started to see some changes in her father. He still drank, but not as much as before. He started going to AA meetings and talking to a therapist. He apologized to Lily and her mother for his behavior, and he started spending more time with them. Lily was overjoyed to see her father back to his old self, and she knew that it wouldn’t have been possible without the love and support of her family and friends.

One day, as Lily was getting ready for bed, she hugged Mr. Huggles tightly and thanked him for everything he had done for her.

“Mr. Huggles,” she said, “you’re the best friend I could ever ask for. Thank you for always being there for me, even when things are tough.”

Mr. Huggles smiled, feeling a little bit teary-eyed. He was so proud of Lily for her strength and her compassion. She was growing up to be a wonderful person, and he was honored to be a part of her life.

“Lily,” he said, his voice soft and gentle. “You’re the reason I was created. I was made to be your friend, your confidant, and your guide. I will always be here for you, no matter what.”

Lily smiled, feeling warm and loved. She snuggled into her pillow, hugging Mr. Huggles tightly. She knew that no matter what the future held, she would always have her teddy bear by her side, ready to listen and to offer his wise advice. Together, they would face whatever came their way, one day at a time.

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A Simple Anxiety Relief Tip

Today I’m sharing a simple anxiety relief tip that’ll calm you down in a hurry.

The next time you’re feeling anxious or freaking out about something, all you have to do is…

CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE

Yeah, I know that this sounds too easy to work, but you’re wrong about that.

Instead of dismissing the tip as too simplistic, the next time you’re frying yourself with anxiety or panic, take a long, slow, deep breath and at the natural pause between inhaling and exhaling make this mental suggestion to yourself: “Switch now!”

And then exhale slowly while silently repeating to yourself: “Switch now.”

This simple breathing technique to lessen anxiety will cause your brain and emotions to switch to a different perspective, one more positive and calm.

By the time you’ve finished one repetition of this tool, your anxiety should be notably reduced, if not completely gone. If that’s not the case, read on…

When I first started using this technique, it often took two or three repetitions to regain a degree of serenity and to lessen my anxiety, but there have been stressful times when multiple repetitions were required. There’s no penalty, by the way, if you need to take multiple repetitions, especially when you first start using this cool little tool.

With consistent practice, this anxiety relief technique provides real world results so be sure to give it a try, eh?

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The Nature of Time and Shakira

Here’s hopefully a little amusement as well as the latest important news from CasaDay…

In a frustrating attempt to impede calcification of my old brain, I’ve recently taken to watching YouTube videos about the nature of time. I wish I could report intellectual progress and a deep understanding of this important topic that affects each of us, but, alas, I’m more confused than ever.

I mean, seriously, the video I watched last night posited a one-on-one causal relationship between time and space: If there is no space, then there’s no time. Or something like that.

I tried to wrap my head around this concept.

No luck there.

In fact, I’m confident I’d have an easier time super glueing the big toe of my right foot to my left ear.

I guess I’ll quit worrying about the entire topic and just glance at a clock when the urge to understand the nature of time again raises its ugly head.

I mean, seriously, why do I feel this compulsion to understand the nature of time? It’s an absurd goal, actually. Especially since my kids are grown, my wife and dog are happily reunited in the Great Beyond, the lawn’s mowed for this week, the 22-year old air conditioner is still running, and Colombia’s super star singer, Shakira, recently kicked her husband out of their home for cheating on her.

Although I can’t swear to the truth of this, rumblings are making the rounds that I can expect a call from Shakira this weekend because she wants to date a mature writer of paperback thrillers, especially one trying to understand the nature of time.

From the mean-spirited and negative social media comments about what I considered a fabulous performance at the 2020 SuperBowl, I know Shakira’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but from personal experience, I also know watching one of her music videos in the a.m. is as invigorating as three cups of coffee:

I was unable to find a video of Ms. Shakira pondering the nature of time, but she may not be as open as I am to sharing intellectual activities online. In any event, I’m here to help her in any way I can!

Speaking of cans, I’m now thinking of a certain popular product from Dinty Moore that contains real potatoes and carrots in a thick brown gravy with large chunks of mystery meat.

And that thought triggered an important realization, the realization that using “beef stew” as a password is a pretty stupid choice because it’s not stroganoff.

With that said, I wish everyone a happy, healthy, and fun weekend with family and friends.

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Zero to Sixty

Like most old farts, I have multiple topics that I could bitch and moan about, but I’m going to tack my ship of rants in a different wind for a change and share a fond memory from 1967.

You see, once upon a time a zillion years ago, during the summer between my freshman and sophomore years of college, I was a cub reporter at a daily morning newspaper in Huntsville, Alabama.

Though I usually wrote feature stories, penned obituaries, or reported on local high school sports, my editor charged me one night with proofing the classified ads because the usual proofreader was out sick.

The typesetter, a prankster with a mean sense of humor, typed in a classified ad for a car: “It goes from 0 to 60 as fast as you can shit.”

Yes, he purposely left out the “f” to see if I’d catch the error and fix it while proofing. He knew if the error wasn’t noticed and corrected the proofreader would be in for a tongue lashing from one of the bosses.

Keep in mind this tale I’m telling occurred back in the day before computers, before word processing, before auto-correction, and before all the other modern stuff that more often than not makes life harder these daze than life was in the good old days.

Well, given my eagle eyes for English errors and typos even at the ripe age of 20, I did catch the mistake, but… given my own appreciation for pranks and fun, I didn’t fix the error because I thought it was hilarious.

The next afternoon when I came in for work, I was not only chewed out by the editor but was also called into the publisher’s office. Both of my bosses were already familiar enough with my sense of humor as well as my almost OCD approach to words and writing to suspect I’d probably let the ad run as typeset.

They were right, of course, and because I’d grown up guilt-ridden and honest as Old Abe, I owed up to my bad decision, confessed without breaking into a laugh, apologized, and swore that would be the last time I’d let “shit” pass for “shift.”

Consequently, I got off pretty lightly with only two minor ass chewings.

And that’s a fun memory that bubbled up in my fevered old brain this Wednesday afternoon for no apparent reason other than perhaps neurons misfiring between my ears this fine spring day.

Happy Hump Day, dear friends!

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No Fool Like an Old Fool

Due to an abiding fear of being cancelled and kicked off the internet for good, I’ve never posted a word about politics, but I’m going to break through my fear and write briefly on important news recently regarding the House of Commons.

For the uninformed, poorly educated, or simply ignorant, the House of Commons is a key legislative body in England. England is a country which isn’t physically attached to Europe but close enough to France for a really good spitter.

With that background, we smoothly transition to the news that captured my attention and inspired this little rant:

You may not be aware of this since it didn’t make the network shows (though it certainly should have given its importance), but British Member of Parliament Neil Parish, 65, has resigned his seat after admitting he had been watching PORNOGRAPHY on his smartphone in the august chamber of the House of Commons!

Apparently, MP Parish’s smartphone is pretty freaking dumb for not reminding him PORNOGRAPHY is best viewed in the privacy of one’s locked closet or bathroom, and preferably late at night after the wife and kids have hit the sack. (Important disclaimer: I make this “best viewed” suggestion from a common sense perspective and NOT from personal experience!)

Speaking of hitting the sack, when was the last time the bottom of your grocery bag split open out of the blue, dumping your eggs and bottles of Geritol and Dulcolax Saline Laxative onto the asphalt? I had that happen to me when I was 71 a few years ago, and I got so mad I actually hit that sack over and over again.

Kapow! Kapow! Almost split open veins in my old knuckles from the forceful blows before I regained my senses and chilled.

I mean seriously, plastic grocery bags are supposed to be more difficult to rip apart than telephone books. And here the lousy sack holding my eggs, Geritol, and Dulcolax Saline Laxative gave way on nothing but a whim.

Speaking of whims, you probably thought Neil Parish, 65, logged onto a PORN site on a whim in the British House of Commons instead of listening to boring details about important legislation, but if that’s what you thought, YOU ARE WRONG!

You see, according to the story I read, Mr. Parish, 65, said he was trying to look at a tractor website, but stumbled into a porn site with a similar name and watched it for “a bit.”

Yeah, I bet.

With that kind of sensible explanation don’t you agree with me that it’s almost impossible to believe Neil Parish, 65, isn’t a member of our own House of Representatives? Lord knows he’d fit right in with many of our hallowed politicians who present us with equally believable explanations regarding their own rare lapses of judgment.

I don’t know about you, but I visit a website informing me of up-to-the-moment news about tractors on a daily basis. If I don’t do this, I start going through withdrawal.

I mean, seriously, old dudes like me and Neil Parish, 65, could end up quivering on the floor with a brain hemorrhage if we don’t get a regular fix of what’s going on in the tractor world.

I will give MP Parish credit, however, since he, according to the AP story confessed to the BBS: “My biggest crime is that on another occasion I went in a second time. And that was deliberate.”

Perhaps the moral of this sad tale is to not go in a second time?

Or maybe the moral is more simple.

To wit, there’s no fool like an old fool.

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Drier than Pretzel Sticks

Gosh, 2021-2022 has been such an odd winter weather-wise here in rural North Carolina with me wearing shirt sleeves one day and a heavy parka the next.

For example, I wore my favorite muscle shirt (yes, I still enjoy showing off the python-like biceps I was known for back in the day) this morning when my little dog Cricket and I walked a mile between showers, but that was about it because the clouds were threatening more rain, and my umbrella wouldn’t cover both of us.

You’re right. I should feel guilty for staying dry under the umbrella when my four-legged companion gets soaked. But I don’t feel guilty enough to cover her with the umbrella while getting soaked myself.

This selfish behavior is no doubt something I’ll have to answer for in the Great Beyond when it’s time for my life review, a phenomenon reported by those who have undergone near death experiences. I don’t know whether or not to believe the NDE reports, but I do find them comforting in some respects.

Of course, because I hate to think humanity is alone and the only intelligent (ha, right!) species in the gargantuan universe, I also used to find alien abduction reports comforting, at least the ones with the friendly alien encounters and not the creepy outsiders from the Ring Nebula or certain reptilian DC politicians who stick needles in the abducted on weekends for fun.

Good Lord, I believe I just lost track of where I was going… could this be an early sign of cognitive disintegration?

You see, I was going to write an extended treatise about the odd winter weather so far in 2022, but, actually, I don’t know enough about meteorology to expound on the topic.

And, yes, now that you mention it, you’re right: I would never write about climate change because of my deep fear of being cancelled by social media pests and insane influencers who would disagree with my point of view.

That’s not to say that I have a point of view regarding climate change, but I mean, seriously, at age 74 I can’t take a chance at cancellation.

No kidding, I need friends more than ever.

Do you know how many old men living alone fall down every year and end up drier than pretzel sticks when somebody finally finds their withered bodies seven months down the road?

Do you know how many geezers I’m talking about are found each year in this tragic condition?

Well, I don’t know either, but you can be damn sure it’s a lot.

So hold tight to your friends and don’t say or write stuff that pisses them off because in these crazy times you can end up ostracized just for refusing to reveal your gender pronouns to an inquisitive stranger in the grocery store checkout line!

Believe me, you’re going to need friends one of these days when you’re older than dirt.

Of course your friends may be older than dirt too, and if that’s the case they may not have the strength to help you up when you fall, so I’d counsel making pals with some younger folks too, just in case.

Speaking of cases, have you been following Sarah Palin’s lawsuit against the New York Times? It was postponed, you probably read, because Sarah came down with Covid and then found herself photographed eating without a mask at a restaurant.

From what I understand that image was published in over 326 newspapers world-wide.

Eating without a mask on.

Can you imagine?

Jeezuz, the gall of that woman!

Oh, that reminds me… on the subject of gall, my good friend Bill Beachy during a memorable poker game one evening in the late 80’s (or maybe it was the early 90’s) suddenly went all in with his winning hand and stake of $2.73.

Weirdly, as he raked in the pot of almost five bucks he happily started lecturing on how Gall was a region of Western Europe first described by the Romans. He informed us that it was inhabited by Celtic and Aquitani tribes, encompassing present day France, Luxembourg, Belgium, most of Switzerland, and parts of Northern Italy, the Netherlands, and Germany, particularly the west bank of the Rhine.

But I digress. For those interested in more knowledge about this region of Western Europe, you can call Bill or else visit Wikipedia. Call Bill. That’s funny. Ha ha ha, it makes me think of Better Call Saul. Hmm, now I’m wondering if Saul rhymes with Gaul?

I know, I know. I know it’s hard to believe, but there may be one or two of you still reading this mess who are wondering where I’m going with this latest bit of nonsense.

I understand, believe me, because I’m wondering where I’m going with it too.

Hmm.

Well, rather than trying to crack the nut of this difficult conundrum, I think I’ll restrain myself and go downstairs and plop this week’s laundry in the washing machine.

I actually enjoy doing laundry these days.

Do you?

If you don’t, give it a try. Putting stinky muddy clothes into the machine isn’t all that much fun, but, gosh, there are few things in life more satisfying than taking the warm laundry out of the dryer, hugging it close to you on cold winter days, and then folding it on your tightly made bed.

You did tightly make your bed this morning, didn’t you?

If you didn’t, I’ll gently share with you what my dear old dad, a former Marine, used to tell me: “If a dime won’t bounce six inches in the air when you drop it on your tightly made bed, you haven’t made it right.”

Good old Dad. He had more wisdom than Ronald Reagan had jelly beans.

Speaking of jelly beans, I went to order some this morning on Amazon and learned that that bastard Jeff Bezos is jacking the yearly price of Prime membership up by 17%.

Seventeen percent!

Can you believe the greed of that guy?

I mean, seriously, I understand how difficult it must be to exist with only $175,000,000,000 in the bank, but for Pete’s sake, give the little guy a break and don’t bump the Prime price through the ceiling

And Bezos should do something about his warehouse employees who don’t have enough time to take a bathroom break during work hours.

I mean, honestly, who wants to take an old orange juice container with them to pee in at work because there’s not enough time to run to the bathroom in one of Amazon’s huge warehouses?

And no, I’m not exaggerating about the size of Amazon warehouses. If you don’t believe me, you can confirm on Wikipedia this quote about Amazon’s largest warehouse: “As of September 2021, [it’s] the Wilmington, Delaware, at 3.8 million square feet. That’s large enough to fit 66.6 football fields inside. The five-story warehouse has a footprint of roughly 640,000 square feet on the ground, which is nearly 14.7 acres.”

Can you imagine having a full bladder when the urinal (or hopefully clean ladies’ toilet) is 66.6 football fields away?

I mean, yikes!

Well, now that I have that little rant about the world’s second richest man out of my system I guess I’ll stop and pull my clothes out of the dryer.

I wish you a happy weekend with friends and family.

And be sure today to tell those you love that you love them.

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How to Slow Down and Meditate

I received an email recently from a blog reader who said he was having trouble slowing down enough to meditate. That the time he spent meditating was no fun because it went so slowly.

That’s a common problem for beginning meditators, especially those practicing breath counting or mentally repeating a mantra or phrase.

I have a suggestion for this…

Simply do your best to not let it be a problem. Just devote twenty to thirty minutes each day to sitting and do it, no matter how long it feels like it takes. If your experience parallels mine, a happy day will arrive when your sitting sessions go so quickly you won’t believe that 20 to 30 to even 60 minutes passed like a snap of your fingers. 🙂

Important point: when you meditate (and during your non-meditating time, too), just be.

Breathe in; pause for a few seconds and note the stillness; breathe out; pause for a few seconds and note the stillness. That’s it. Everything you need is right here, right now.

Especially in that deep silent pause between each breath.

Until next time, meditate every day and let it all go.

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Breathe in Absolute Freedom

For this week’s meditation, we turn to Dogen (founder of the Soto school of Zen Buddhism), who wrote:

The human mind has absolute freedom as its true nature. There are thousands upon thousands of students who have practiced meditation and obtained this realization. Do not doubt the possibilities because of the simplicity of this method.

During the coming week, while you’re meditating, breathe in absolute freedom and breathe out true nature.

Do not think or conceptualize about absolute freedom and true nature while you’re sitting and breathing.

Simply breathe in absolute freedom and breathe out true nature.

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